Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Update from Home

This post comes after a long silence since graduation. There is no earth-shattering news on this update. I am still looking for a job as I have been since the middle of May when I got home from Northland. I have some prospects, but nothing has panned out yet. There has been some development in the overall goal though. September 11, 2011 I will be officially received into membership at Edgewood Baptist Church. This decision has been over a year in the making and is very plainly what the Father would have me to do. I am excited at this new beginning and eager to see what comes next. 

Sorry this isn't one of the more exotic or mind-blowing posts, but this is a time to stop running, catch a breath, soak in knowledge and wisdom, spend time in the Word, get invested in the local work, and growing up. Ironically, the most difficult and challenging aspect of current events is something that is not happening. 

For the first time in my life since I can remember, I am not a student, and will not be returning to school this fall with my notebook and highlighters. At first thought, this leaves me breathing a sigh of relief, remembering the rush and stress of setting up a class schedule, moving my things into an already crowded dorm room with three other girls, buying textbooks, signing up for work hours, sitting through required orientation sessions that don't explain any practical details and yet manage to steal hours of our time, dorm meetings, work meetings, and countless other hassles of returning to school. 

However, after that brief moment of joyous relief at not going back, I then go on to remember meeting up with long-time dear friends who've been there through it all, meeting new freshmen and transfers whose lives I can touch, getting to crash in friends' rooms with a pizza and stories, getting free and numerous back-rubs from compassionate hands, meeting together with sisters-in-arms to pray to the point of tears, having dinner with friends, having lunch with friends, hearing messages that leave you walking out of chapel with the hair on the back of your neck standing on end, getting the first syllabus of the semester and planning out exactly how much time it'll take to get it all done early, and then barely finishing on time, meeting for coffee more for the good talks than the coffee, waving at people on the sidewalk, shamelessly hugging people on the sidewalk even when you see them three times a day, and last of all falling asleep each night in the safety of your very own mosquito net after a hard night of studying Greek. 

These thoughts, and others flash through my head as I type them on my computer sitting in the comfort of my own living room, with no immediate plans of packing up to go back. It's hard to see the end of an era and not look back with at least a few regrets, a lot of priceless memories, but primarily with longing. I long for the sweet feeling of "Oh yeah! I'm back." I long for the familiarity and comfort of the routine, the schedule, the daily habits, the same faces, the classes, the work. I long for what has very much become my home. But it's not. It is not my home, it was there for that time, and it was exactly what I needed it to be. 

I come away from Northland and college with a bigger picture of who my God is, and the realization that He is in charge, and I am not. I cannot verbalize the impact this has made on my spiritual walk, anymore than I can adequately describe the dark side of the moon. It will be a major adjustment to not return to a dorm room, but I trust that God will continue to develop the plans He has for my life, and they will continue to be amazing. :) This has been a rather long rambling monologue, but it was time to update the blog, even if not with exciting news of a job or starting seminary. All in good time. For now I will leave you with---

G and P to the Family around the world.

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